Time To Re-Consider Riding

[BLK]

I just want to say right up front – sorry but I don’t have any pictures. Despite repeated requests to my riding my partner he refused take leave from attending to me and the situation – so my apologies. So read on if you want but this is more of a catharsis as anything.

Thanks for indulging me:

I think I remember reading somewhere that one of the keys to being a good motorcycle rider is not falling off the bike - I seem to have a hard time with that one fundamental aspect of the sport. This is my second crash in three years.

As such I think it's time to take up golf.

On Saturday July 19th at approximately 11:30 am I was traveling south on Decker Canyon road here in the Santa Monica Mountains. At the time the sun was out, the road was dry and the traffic light to moderate. Just having climbed out of a dense wet fog me and my riding partner were happy see the sun and a clear road ahead of us. Forgetting or ignoring the fact that I had only ridden this particular road once before I found myself overly enjoying the road ahead. Traveling at about 30/35 mph I entered a descending sweeper to the left that quickly revealed itself as having a hard decreasing radius. Picking up the on coming traffic I shifted my eyes back to the road in front of me but it was too late. I was too hot to make the turn and had to break hard, in a flash I was down and sliding. The moment of impact rang though my ears with a crack. It's amazing how quickly the mind works. In the second or two I had traveling horizontally across the pavement I had three thoughts. First, I instantly wanted to take it back. I wanted to stop time and make it so this wasn’t happening. DAMNIT. Secondly, I am pretty sure that crack I heard was my ribs or shoulder and three, my buddy who had come down from Portland explicitly for this ride, well, I just ruined his weekend.

I came to rest sitting up with my knees to my chest in a drainage ditch while the bike skipped to a stop slightly to my right and behind me. I never lost consciousness and was up and walking around immediately after the accident - although that didn't last long. The pain soon set in so I laid down and waited for the ambulance.

I remember looking up at my friend and saying: "That's it - I'm not riding anymore - I'm just no good at this". After that my breathing became very difficult and I got more than a little concerned. I considered the possibility of a collapsed or punctured lung. There were no moments of life flashing before my eyes but i do recall saying out loud "I don't want to die here...".

Diagnosis:

Fractured Right Fibula
Fractured Right Ribs 2 though 7
Fractured Right Scapula
Lacerated Spleen
Bruised Lung

The spleen put me in ICU for thee days but thankfully they did not have to remove it. The initial EMT response considered life flighting me to the hospital but there was no room to land the helicopter. Obviously, as I lay there on the side of the road, there was no way of knowing that I was bleeding internally but apparently that is what they assume when it’s a motorcyclist. This is because internal bleeding, especially of the spleen, can kill you in about an hour. I was unaware of this, of course, until a friend of mine who happens to be a surgeon, and former rider, gave me a call to see how I was doing. And during our conversation he asked if I had been life flighted to the ER. I said no but that they wanted to but couldn’t. He then went on to tell me why time was so of the essence. I thanked him for not calling sooner – lol.

Beyond the spleen nothing else too serious. None of the breaks are severe enough to warrant any metal. I also have a walking cast/boot on my leg. Other than that, barely a scratch on me and no external bruises – outside of my leg. As a matter of fact to look at me you would hardly know anything is wrong. To that end all I can say is gentleman(and ladies) GEAR UP! My gear saved me a WORLD of pain. Laying there in ICU it occurred to me how much more painful this would be without my skin. And I realize that I am preaching to the choir but it never hurts to be reminded especially when the reminder comes first hand. One last thing about gear - DO NOT SKIMP ON BOOTS! I had on a great pair of Alpine Stars - hiking boot style - with a metal ankle cup and that boot saved my foot without a doubt. As a matter of fact the break in my leg was right where the boot ended not to mention the inside of the boot was slashed clear through.

It’s been over a week now since the crash and I have made more healing progress than I had anticipated. It’s still hard to sleep and moving is still a bit of a challenge but I can walk with out a cane and my ribs don’t hurt as much when I breath.

In the days to come as I become more mobile I will try to post pics of my gear and my bike. But I warn you now, they won’t be that dramatic.

For now I am struggling with my own limitations as a rider – knowing that this crash was completely avoidable and totally the result of my own inabilities to think quickly and control my emotions. I am also struggling with knowing that despite my sincere desire to ride again, that there are too many people in my life that care too much about me to put them through this kind of scare again.

BLK

[Sven]

Thanks for sharing your story.  Like most of like, it's complicated, and there are conflicting issues.

You just got a big reality kick in the butt.  You have some time to do some thinking (and have been, as you've noted) while you heal.

--On one hand, any activity can reach a point where it's more trouble than it's worth.  (If you can't be the kind of rider you want to be, do you want to keep riding?  Is the cost (financial and risk) higher than you can afford?)
--On the other hand, sometimes you have to reframe your expectations.  (Maybe you should be a less aggressive rider, or more of a commuter, or join the gray-haired men who ride on dirt because they get hurt less and don't risk traffic.)

After such a serious shake-up, I can understand your feeling that this maybe an activity that is too risky for the well-being of your friends and family...a lot of guys say "I had to give it up when I had kids"...but they don't use the same logic when it comes to their health, or thier finances, or drinking/smoking, or all the other risks people take every day.  Life isn't risk-free, but everyone has to decide what their own level of acceptable risk is.

My best wishes working through those issues, and very happy to hear you are healing quickly.  Please keep up appraised of your progress on all fronts.

PS:  Am I the only one that (depsite the serious nature of the injury) always finds the sound of the term "lacerated liver" funny?

--SSS

[mademiriam]

OUCH,
thanks for sharing your story, it doesn't hurt to get reminders to wear gear. And use some caution...oh how tempting some roads are.
I hope your recovery continues and that you'll be back to your old self shortly.
Re-considering riding can be tough, I always see it as a decision I may make someday (hopefully not too late) in the protection of the people I care about.
The thought that one simply becomes less aggressive...well maybe if you got a completely different bike. I for one don't have the self control NOT to wind up the bandit (or similar).
Whatever your decision ends up to be, I hope someday you'll look back at that moment before the crash and think...wasn't it marvelous, the sun, the bike, the road. In that at least find some worth.
The pictures of the bike and the gear may not be impressive, but your list of injuries tells the story. I think you may be downplaying the annoying amount of pain those ribs are providing you. 
All in all I'm sure I speak for all those people in your life, its good to still have you around. 

[PitterB4]

Thanks for sharing.  Heal quick!

[bngboyd]

BLK,

I am glad you are here. Thank you for sharing with us as I know that is not easy. If you do go back to riding please let me share some pointers that have kept me on two wheels for the most part. It may or may not help.

1. My father who rode when he was younger gave me my favorite piece's of advice....
"Once you feel that you have mastered riding, that is when it will bite you." & "Always respect the power and risk of riding a bike each time you mount up."

2. Never tear up the twisties on a unknown stretch of road. Know the road well before opening the throttle.

3. Always believe that you are not seen by others and ride knowing that.

4. Always go with your gut feeling, if things just don't seem right.....slow down.

5. All the gear, all the time. (I have alot of issues following this one)

6. Grow eyes in the back of your head. Constantly use your mirrors to know where everyone is (Note #3) as you need to drive for them too.

7. You can follow all the advice from all the people and still end up eating shit. We all know it is not if you go down but when. Riding is a risk.

This is definately not a lecture but just some friendly tips if you do go back to riding. If riding is set in your blood then you will ride again. I have been down twice myself in the last 26 years and the last one was only a year ago. There is so many more tips then the ones listed above, but those are the ones that ring in my ears.

Heal up brother and just take it one step at a time. Shit happens.

Bob

[Vidrazor]

Hopefully you'll be healing faster than expected all the way to fully healed.

It's a personal decision to ride or not, give it some time. Fortunately you were ATGATT. If you do decide to ride again, consider some additional rider training. I haven't had bad falls, but I'm in the process of getting more training now to (hopefully) avoid something bad down the line.

Even with all the training in the world, shit happens. Just look at Larry Grodsky. Nonetheless, you can never have enough rider training IMHO.

[andrewsw]

Heal well!

A friend the other day sent an email that he had sold his bike with no plans to purchase another. He's 42, got two bad shoulders, countless road-rash scars, and a permanent limp from a broken ankle. The latest shoulder and ankle injury were completely beyond his control (shipping pallet in a shallow dip in the road at night, killed his beautiful Thruxton). He's decided he doesn't have the stomach for it anymore, and is tired of the dichotomy of the situation. He can have a gorgeous canyon ride on a sunday afternoon and absolutely love it, but try to ride to the bank and nearly get run over three times by morons in cages. This is the first time he's been without a bike since he got license at 16.

The decision of whether to continue riding or not is a personal decision. It is best made after long contemplation. Look at the things that have caused accidents in the past and how they could have been avoided. Decide whether these things are things you can fix or not and then analyze the risks involved and whether you want to face those odds.

Whatever you decide, be well and happy.

A

[dhcolesj]

Heal up BLK.  

I'm glad to hear your doing well.  This is another reminder of why I wear most all of my gear every time I ride.  I just need to get more in the habit of wearing the riding pants.

You kind of remind me of another person I know, very irritated that you didn't make that curve, ruined your buddy's day, and caused yourself some medical bills, and bike repair bills.  Right now it seems that the juice just isn't worth the squeeze.  So, as others have said, so say I again, get healed up, then look it over.   You might be finding your self riding again.

Get well soon.

[Red01]

My prayers are with you for a speedy recovery.  As others have said, the decision to continue riding is a personal one.  Myself, I gave up dirt bikes for several years after a little mishap that left me with a few cracked ribs.  (Due to poor judgement, riding over my head and a drastic change to the trail since I'd ridden it just two days earlier.)  As for the boots, I agree, you should always wear something at least as tall as what you had on, but a taller boot is even better, IMHO.  My son recently had a minor get-off on his B12 and he was wearing some Alpinstar shorties.  He's convinced if he would have been wearing a taller boot, he wouldn't have hurt his ankle.

  here's to a full and speedy recovery!

[Ray Mooney]

BLK --

Here's an analogous story for you. I'm a surfer and a couple years ago I was out in a swell I had no business in. I'm an intermediate surfer who's ridden a few 8-10 footers in my time, but this swell was macking at 18-20 feet. It took me 45 minutes to paddle out in monstrous whitewater, and by the time I got out there I was already bushed. To make this short, I got trashed by three truly epic waves, one after the other. Held down so long I almost didn't make it. Another split second under water and I would have inhaled a lungful of salty brine. I suddenly realized I was in over my head (literally) and struggled to paddle my way back in. That had its own struggles and pitfalls, but I made it back to terra firma.

I stayed out of the water for a long time after that. Even when the swell backed down and waves I had been comfortable in were inviting me to surf, I avoided the water. I just couldn't bring myself to go in for several months. Finally I decided I was just being a vagina, and made myself paddle out. I surfed OK considering I was a bit rusty, and I proved I could remount the horse. Still, surfing has never been the same for me, and while I still go occasionally, it's not the great passion it once was.

My point is this. Don't make your decision now. Give it some time. Don't let fear make the decision for you. When you're healed up and have screwed up your courage, rent a big ol' Harley and take a turn through the country. See how you feel. If all you manage to do is prove the accident didn't take your spirit, then it's all good. Walk away from motorcycles and start golfing. If, on the other hand, you find that riding is still the life for you, then that's good, too. Just don't let fear take the decision out of your hands.

Peace.
Ray

[mademiriam]

BLK --
 If all you manage to do is prove the accident didn't take your spirit, then it's all good. Walk away from motorcycles and start golfing. If, on the other hand, you find that riding is still the life for you, then that's good, too. Just don't let fear take the decision out of your hands.

well said Ray, something I think all of us should consider

[billincentraljersey]

Is it in your blood or not?  I was a pasionate motorcyclist for many years until I got out of college.  With a new job and consistent paycheck, I bought a new bike.  Soon, I got really busy with the job, then a steady girl friend, then marriage, then house, then kids.  The new bike was under 100 miles parked at my mothers back yard.  Told myself over the years that I'll get back to it once the dust settled.  Finally, one day, I come to accept that the bike will just rot away and I'll never get back to it.  So I decide to sell the Moto Guzzi before it becomes a bucket of rust.  Sold it to a co-worker.  So, everyday, he's at my desk talking about the restoration process.  Then all of a sudden, I start to wonder about how it would be to ride again.  I then realize that I have been convincing myself that it was over.  It was NOT over.  So I bought a used  Kawasaki Concours, few years later, the 07 Bandit 1250.  Dust had long settled, kids are no longer infants.  They are teenagers.  I up my life insurance, and ride as much as I can.  Last summer, I check off a life long dream.  I rode across America.  NJ to LA in 8 days, then one day LA to SF. 

You will find out soon enough if it is really over.  The next time you take it up again, it may be a whole different experience.  I was for me.   

[BLK]

Thanks to everyone for not only the well wishes but the advice. It really helps the spirit and has given me plenty of food for thought.

For me, I know I want to ride again. And as I sit here I don't see me having to over come the fear of it. The one thing, if anything, that will prevent me from ever saddling up again is the fact that so many of my friends and family really hate the idea. In the aftermath of this I see how my accident effected those around me, especially my immediate family. It just tears me up inside to see how worried and scared they are/were over this.

If it were just me in this world the decision would be easy. Heck if it were just me and my wife this would be easy. I don't know. I know there are things I can do. Things I can learn and steps I can take to be a better ride next time but I am not sure any of that will ease their minds.

One thing I do know for sure... IF I ever ride again it will be on a bike with ABS. That much I know for sure.

Off to the doctor's for my first follow-up since being released.

BLK

[Old_n_Slow]

Get well soon, and remember, there are always alternatives.

I've been doing this nonsense for 48 years, have a Bandit 1200/s and an ST1300, still enjoy it but not really as much as I used to, and I've found something that's as much fun, at least, I'm having as much fun, as riding. It's called a Mazda Miata. If riding is making you guilty, or uncomfortable, take one for a spin. I guarantee that you've never realized that 30 mph can be so much fun! Your friends and relations will also approve of your good sense while still enjoying life.

All the best.

[Red01]

The Miata isn't the only car in that class either. 

<shameless plug for what I drive>
I find my MINI Cooper does a fine job in that regard, too!
One downfall is I can't use the carpool lane in the Cooper if I commute in it solo... but it has a killer stereo, comfortable interior, go-kart handling, warm/cool as you like (and dry), and gets near B12 fuel economy at 36 mpg (US).
<end shameless plug>

There are others, too... VW R32, Pontiac Solstice/Saturn Redline, etc...