I am seriously NOT trying to start crap here but maybe you should invest $30 in a manual.
I do have a manual. In fact I have a couple. But as you can see from above, there are several real-world ways to do this, and not all of them assume you have a shop full of equipment, as the manuals often do, and there are short cuts the manuals don't suggest. Go back and read this thread before continuing on, I'll wait for you.
Back so soon? I disagree that you should have to know how to work on a bike to own one. That sort of logic would have killed the PC industry. I also disagree that you should willingly hand over your paycheck to the bike shop. Bike shop labor is as expensive or more than auto shop labor, but offers less service and less convenience. Nothing is done while you wait, or in the evening after work.
So as things come up, I try to assess whether it's something I want to attempt myself. In this case, buying a tire *at my leisure* and putting it on *at my leisure, at home* would be more convenient than going and buying a tire, getting a friend to follow me to the bike shop with the tire, and taking me to work becuase the bike shop will TRY to get it done today. And this is on top of paying a premium for a bike tire compared to a car tire.
Ah, but then it was easier to criticize, wasn't it?