And another one (since I got such a big response on the first!)
Living in the country means you shop in a country grocery store. Now, 99% of the time that is great, but it's that other 1% that kills me! Case in point:
I go to do the shopping today when I spy something on the list that I do not usually, yes, even refuse to, buy! Women's feminine products...
Like any good and beaten husband I try my best...first off I can't find even the right area for these things so I try to ask a nice-looking lady shopper...she's laughing at me so hard she can't answer - all she can manage is a faint wave of her finger in the general direction. I get to the right shelf but immediately see another male of the species looking at HIS list and scratching his head. We commiserate and he stalks off, muttering something about 'she'll have to do it herself!'
But I will not give up so easy! I peer at the shelf...it is filled with womenly things and stands about 30 ft. long and 6 ft. high. I search for the right brand! Yes! I go for the ultra -thins; it takes a while...skip pass the overnight....what are THOSE things - mattress pads????. I grab the package triumphantly and glance at the list - WINGS!! She wants WINGS; I search again and there they are!!
Stuff it in my pocket so no other guy can see and run back to the cart. Put it in under the milk and I'm ready - or so I think! One last look at the list and I see at the bottom, in very faint letters 'long' . I check my beloved package (still under the milk) and it says 'regular'...I slump, very depressed.
I decide to go with it as I unload the groceries onto the belt...then the girl asks, "Was there anything you couldn't find?" I hesitate but then pull out the package, now soaking wet from my sweaty hands. I explain my problem to her quietly.
She takes the package, holds it high in the air like some sort of sign, turns and yells, "Fred!! Fred!! This guy wants Kotex like this one but long!"
I slink down into my turtleneck as the whole store stops and stares at me.
I can feel the blood rising up my face but I pray that 'Fred' can find the package quietly. But no.
"Is it Stayfree?" he yells back, even louder.
"No, I told you, it's Kotex!!" was the reply.
"The long ones, right?"
"Yeah - with the wings!"
He runs and retrieves them. I hang my head while the groceries are packed and race home to a tall glass of wine.
At least the feminine products were the right ones! But never ever again!!
HUSBANDS OF THE WORLD UNITE!! REFUSE TO BUY FEMININE PRODUCTS!!!!Jim
