Author Topic: One liners to "When are you gonna get a REAL bike?" (Read 9205 times)

Red01 · « **on:** January 11, 2006, 12:59:32 AM »

I'm sure many of you have had the question, "When are you gonna get a REAL bike?" posed to you by Harley riders (sometimes even bikeless wannabees) at work, in a parking lot or even at a gas stop.

Some examples:

"As opposed to what?"

"Life is too short to ride slow bikes."

"Would you fly in a Harley-built plane?"

"I would, but I'm afraid of the power. They're just too fast for me."

A simple pat on your bike followed by, "I've got one."

"If I wanted to ride a parade float I'd join the Shriners."

"I got two for about the same money you paid for one."

"My unit is big enough to get through life without a Harley."

"Yeah, this is a POS. Tell ya what -- let's race for pinks to, let's say, Key West?"

"I have a real bike, it's:
realiable
real fast
real inexpensive
real comfortable
really handles in the turns..."

"I wouldn't feel right not being able to wear a helmet."

"I wish I could afford one. (So I could buy two other bikes)"

"I can't afford to spend that much time at the bars. "

"Use-ta ride Harleys, but then I made the mistake of trying something with enough power to pull the string out of a cat's @$$."

"I'd be happy to buy a Harley. It's just that Harley isn't currently making a bike I want."

"I look like hell in fringe!"

"When I want to polish something, I get out my grandma's silverware."

"I sold my Heritage last year and bought this one, it's awesome!"

"As soon as they start importing them to the US.... Spring 2007 according to the press release."

"I love V-twins - I'm saving up for an Aprilia."

"The indian, cop and construction worker just called - they need you for a gig tonight."

"I have one in my garage, but I wanted to ride fast today."

"I like to ride 'em, not work on 'em."

"Why push, when you can ride?"

"Do you mean REAL fast? Or REAL reliable??"

Point to the ground under their bike and say, "Hey, is that real oil leaking from your bike?" Then ride off.

"Your bike needs a real rider."

"It may not be the best, but it's the one I like."

"I was thinking the same thing about you"

"I ride what I ride because I am a Motorcyclist - not a Biker."

If the other guy's bike is running, lean down and tilt your head, wrinkle up your face as if listening hard for something... When he finally asks what you're listening for, reply: "Sounds like it's only running on two cylinders."

"When I get real old I may get one". (More effective if you ARE old.)

"When are you getting a muffler?"

"My back hurts in that position."

solman · « **Reply #1 on:** January 11, 2006, 09:13:51 AM »

Quote

"Yeah, this is a POS. Tell ya what -- let's race for pinks to, let's say, Key West?"

That one is my favorite. I know sport bike guys who start to whine if you have to ride more that 80 miles to go somewhere.

Desolation Angel · « **Reply #2 on:** January 11, 2006, 09:42:11 AM »

Good ones!

I've only ever had some old dumb@ss say something like that to me once. Pulled into a space at the BMW dealer to blow off some time looking at the bikes. Old guy sittin' in a car next to me says (with a big sh!tty grin), "You decide to upgrade?" I'm on the B12S. I said, "Oh, no sir! I'm not ready to slow down, yet!"

Jack@ss!

billybandit · « **Reply #3 on:** January 11, 2006, 10:51:22 AM »

Hahaha, good ones. If you said the Aprilia one to a Harley fanatic I bet they'd almost vomit. I haven't had anyone say "when are you going to get a real bike?" to me yet, and if they did I would feel kind of stupid because I still consider my 250 a super-moped lol.

B12Teuton · « **Reply #4 on:** January 11, 2006, 12:04:54 PM »

I always tell them the truth:

I had a new Harley when I was a dumbass school kid. Then I grew up and upgraded to bikes that were able to keep up with my riding skills.

land_shark · « **Reply #5 on:** January 11, 2006, 12:26:20 PM »

Quote from: "Red01"

"Would you fly in a Harley-built plane?"

"If I wanted to ride a parade float I'd join the Shriners."

"The indian, cop and construction worker just called - they need you for a gig tonight."

b4cruz · « **Reply #6 on:** January 11, 2006, 01:20:33 PM »

were these wonderful responses all created by you Paul?
how many of them have you actually used?
and have you ever raced your bandit cross a few states to prove its
better than another bike?

Banditboy600 · « **Reply #7 on:** January 11, 2006, 01:29:38 PM »

Good ones Red. You need to post them over at Sport Touring. lol!

rider123 · « **Reply #8 on:** January 11, 2006, 02:45:52 PM »

I always used to get hassled. I told them when they said I should get a Harley or any other snide remarks. "Yeah I hear the new sportster 883 has almost as much power as my '78 RD400! For 10 times the price!" that usually shuts em up pretty fast. It's not so crazy here in Canada but in the States I imaging the "buy American" arguement holds more water. Unfortunatly most of the suspension, electrical, and brake componants are made in Japan.

Jacknife · « **Reply #9 on:** January 11, 2006, 06:15:28 PM »

If we come across a harley, we just ask "too gay for a real bike or just not man enough" that works.

And if you ask them if they know where the "Blue Oyster Bar" is, they get realy upset.

Red01 · « **Reply #10 on:** January 11, 2006, 08:14:40 PM »

Quote from: "b4cruz"

were these wonderful responses all created by you Paul?
how many of them have you actually used?
and have you ever raced your bandit cross a few states to prove its
better than another bike?

Quote from: "Banditboy600"

Good ones Red. You need to post them over at Sport Touring. lol!

Not created by me, but compiled from my favorites from a similar (11 page) thread over at ST.N. (there's some good stories in that thread, too.) Seems the question is usually asked most often by someone who doesn't even have a bike - and never has... they're just brain-washed into thinking H-D is the be-all, end-all bike.

My response is usually along the lines of:

"Life is too short to ride slow bikes."
A simple pat on your bike followed by, "I've got one." or
"I have a real bike, it's:
realiable
real fast
real inexpensive
real comfortable
really handles in the turns..."

No, I've never raced anyone across a few states to prove it, but have ridden across a few states for the fun of it.

aussiebandit · « **Reply #11 on:** January 11, 2006, 10:44:56 PM »

I usually use a variation on

Quote

"I'd be happy to buy a Harley. It's just that Harley isn't currently making a bike I want."

"I'll buy a Harley when then make a faired in-line 4 that will do 100km/h in first."

B6mick · « **Reply #12 on:** January 12, 2006, 05:33:30 AM »

Or

I did, I threw money, hand over fist at it for 20 years.
The 1st misses divorsed me cleaned me out and made me sell it.
After all the bills where paid, I was left with enough money to buy this.
Now ya wanna drag for pink slips, or do you think it would be a good thing to shut the F*#* up before you end up looking like a total c#*#sucker.

H D riders hate, jap bike riders, with bigger and bader attitude, than what they have.

And to be honest, the 1st misses making me sell the bloody thing was the best thing she ever did for me. But dont tell her that she'll want more payments or something like that.

billybandit · « **Reply #13 on:** January 12, 2006, 10:45:24 AM »

Quote

"I'll buy a Harley when then make a faired in-line 4 that will do 100km/h in first."

The new Jap 1000's do over 100MPH in first! I can't imagine the 600's are too far behind that either

Airmotive · « **Reply #14 on:** January 12, 2006, 10:55:19 PM »

Quote from: "Red01"

Quote from: "b4cruz"
were these wonderful responses all created by you Paul?
how many of them have you actually used?
and have you ever raced your bandit cross a few states to prove its
better than another bike?

Quote from: "Banditboy600"
Good ones Red. You need to post them over at Sport Touring. lol!

Not created by me, but compiled from my favorites from a similar (11 page) thread over at ST.N. (there's some good stories in that thread, too.) Seems the question is usually asked most often by someone who doesn't even have a bike - and never has... they're just brain-washed into thinking H-D is the be-all, end-all bike.

So I'm not the only STNer here.
I started that thread in STN after being asked twice in one day when I'm going to get a real bike. I can now die knowing that my life is complete....I started a monster thread.