That's a great question, Drewpy. I live out in the country, and like your in-laws, there's a lot of dirt and gravel roads around here. In fact, every time I go somewhere, I have to ride our dirt driveway which is a 1/4 mile long, and then almost a mile of gravel road just to get to the pavement.
This is our driveway:
And this is the county road to the paved highway:
Now you know why I used to ride a DL650 V-Strom. But I ended up having to sell it and buy a bigger road-bike that we could ride two-up long distance, because my Honey didn't take to riding her own bike.
At first I was a little worried how hard it would be to wrestle the B1250 down these roads twice a day, but now it doesn't bother me at all... as long as I don't get careless!
But here's a few tips that have helped me keep from dumping the Bandit so far, maybe it'll help you too.
1. Go slow. With holes and rocks, the suspension will bottom out and could result in loss of control. It's first gear most of the way, and 10-15mph on the dirt ruts. Maybe 25-35 in 2nd out on the packed gravel. If it's a really good, hard-packed road, I might go in 3rd, but never over 45mph.
2. I never use the front brake. Totally opposite than pavement, where I almost never use the rear brake. On mud, dirt, or loose gravel, the biggest danger is your front wheel going away. And going downhill, I pull the clutch in and coast down, using the rear brake to keep my speed down. You don't want to pick up speed downhill.
3. I don't stand up on the pegs. I know, that's the best way to ride a dirt bike, or even an adventure bike like the V-Strom, but on a low, heavy bike like the Bandit you can't use your knees as effectively to control the lean or direction as well. I sit lightly, with tension on my legs, but my butt stays on the seat.
4. Ride in the ruts, not on the hump. Keep your wheels on the most hard-packed surface that you can find, the hump is usually a lot looser and less predictable. And stay on the uphill side, if you do have to change lanes, it's easier to let the wheels drop into the lower rut than it is to try to power up onto a higher surface. And even on the "good" graded gravel roads, stay out of the loose stuff and try to follow the tire tracks.
5. Your throttle will get you out of trouble. Giving it a little gas lightens the front wheel, and will save it from washing out in loose gravel or even mud. When I do have to go through something gooey like a mud puddle, I line it up straight and as soon as my front wheel hits it, I give it a little "goose" to power me through. And if you find yourself getting out of shape, a bit of power will straighten you right out.
6. Stay away from the ditch! The slope can pull you right into it before you can get it turned. It's a heavy bike, and it wants to go downhill.
7. I always keep my eyes a little ways down the track instead of right in front of me. You can get fixated on rocks and stuff that are too close and it pulls you right into them like a magnet. Plus if you look 10-20 feet ahead you can plan your route around the obstacles.
8. I never try to make too sharp of a turn, or a sudden change of direction. Again, it's a lot of weight and not much traction.
9. Keep your feet on the pegs. Putting your feet down while you are moving doesn't help, and can get you in trouble if your boots slip or lose grip. On the other hand, don't be shy about putting both feet down when you come to a stop, and watch for slippery stuff where you put your feet.
10. If you do go down, save yourself and forget about the bike! Just get away from it, it'll hurt you worse if you try to keep it up. This is a judgement call, nobody wants their bike all scratched up and busted, but when it comes down to you and a 500 pound motorcycle, the bike is gonna do what it wants no matter what you do.
It's not so bad once you get used to it, the hardest part for me is to keep from getting too relaxed or cocky. I keep the above things in mind constantly every time, and concentrate on the road every minute. So far I haven't dropped it, and I hope I can keep that up.
The worst thing is always having a dirty, dusty bike. Even when I just wash her, she always has a coat of dust or mud spatters before I can even get to the highway! Oh well...
I hope this helps, and good luck, Drewpy!